Thursday, August 26, 2010

Looking for Others Like Me

I woke up this morning determined to connect with other women like me because I was so tired of not  having someone to talk with about my gay husband.  So why after thirty-six years of marriage have I decided to write about being married to a gay man?  Because never before has my husband allowed himself to have a relationship with another man (with my encouragement) and I sense that my life is going to change over the next few months.  I believe that I am going to become a single woman again and I am going to chronical my transition here, primarily for my benefit.  If you find some help or comfort for your situation, then that's good, too.

It has taken me a long time to feel safe enough to go public with my story.  There are a few trusted people in my life that know about my marriage but as supportive as they are, they really don't understand how isolated I have felt.  It isn't easy to connect with women who live my type of lifestyle by choice.  We are so protective of our families and carry the heavy burden of secrecy so we don't allow people to get too close to us.  Also, as difficult as our married gay/straight lives are, we are very much in love with our husbands.  And here's the irony, they are in love with us.  But sometimes love isn't enough.